Mutant Ninja Turtles
by Rutherford's Atom
Summary: The Ninja turtles were supposedly born in 1984. If it weren't for the miraculous anti-ageing formula hidden in the cathode ray tube, they'd be turning 20 this year.


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Mutant Ninja Turtles

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Any feedback greatly appreciated. Thanks to all those who review!

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NB: For the sake of this story, I have assumed that the brothers do not share a birthday. Of course, I could be wrong. There has to be a first time for everything, right?

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'If I were a normal human I'd be out drinking now, drowning any concerns about growing up while naked woman wafted in front of my eyes.' But Raphael was not normal and he was not human, so he could not. Because of that, he had kept forgetting it was his birthday. Countless times that day he had looked at the calendar only to think to himself, 'Oh yeah, that's right. I lost my youth today.'

Raphael mused:

'Twenty. Maths used to scare me, but this is one number is given me worries the size of one by zero. I am now twenty years old. When I turned thirteen I felt old because I was officially a teenager. Now I feel old because I am no longer one. I feel like I should be initiated into adulthood or something. I had half expected my skin to shed on the stroke of the hour and this new Raphael would step out. One that would think and act like a full-grown turtle should…if there were norms for adult personified turtles. I've already been through a lot for a twenty-year-old though. Maybe I was initiated all those years ago. Each scar another ordeal.

'Actually, I probably sound like rhetoric dribble, the kind you find in self help stores, on sale nonetheless. I can't help it - that's how I feel. I feel like sale priced dribble. And on my birthday of all days.

Raphael well realised that it was not a good idea to be out alone today, but he had not been gone long. The lair was suffocating him and he needed to breathe the same air as all the other normal people for a while. Of course, being alone when his particular frame of mind can only lead to bad places, so he had committed himself to a curfew that was quickly advancing on him.

After all, his family had made a big effort to make his day special. Raphael had even been brought breakfast in bed and he had of course noticed the cake sized bowl tucked away in the kitchen. However, while he appreciated all of this, his thoughts kept wandering to something that had been troubling him for nearly a week now.

'Turtles often only live to be forty, although some can live to be a hundred.' He knew this because he had looked it up, and was quite sure that his brothers had too, although doubted any of them would ever admit it. He was equally aware that the mutation had almost inevitably thrown a spanner into the works. 'Or in this case, it's probably more like an 18-inch crescent. It's nearly enough to make Darwin turn in his grave. Maybe Donatello would have some idea of exactly how long any of us could expect to live, if we manage to outrun or outsmart every single enemy we come across. Of course he ain't talking and I am certainly not going to ask him.

'Especially not today.' Raphael felt something heavy in his coat pocket whacking at his thigh in time with his stride. As he reached into the pocket he instantly remembered that it was his birthday present from Donatello. He turned it over his hands. 'I don't even know what it does,' he thought. But it had been presented to him with such enthusiasm he had not cared. He was considering exactly how he could ask Donatello without insulting his own intelligence, but his attention wandered to the rippled green hands holding the device. 'Wrinkles…at my age?' he wondered.

By then the air was getting colder though and Raphael realised was time to return to his family.

Instead the mountain came to Mohammed.

"Raphael."

Raphael looked up to see Donatello who wore a strange expression on his face. 'Or maybe it is a lack thereof' Raphael thought. "You read my mind, dude. I was just about to head home."

Donatello nodded and the two started towards the lair in silence.

It seemed to take a while before either even realised they had progressed half the distance without more than a greeting spoken. But each sensed the gravity of the situation. Raphael reminded himself once more that this was his birthday.

Donatello took in a deep breath, almost as if to warn his brother of his speech, but probably more for the effect of mentally bracing himself. "We've nearly all been through this now, you know."

Raphael nodded. "Yeah, I know. It's just a little…."

"Weird?" Donatello offered.

"Yeah, weird."

Donatello smiled knowingly. "Yeah, I got that too."

"Really? I'm surprised you even noticed the day go by man, you were working on…umm…something all day." Raphael remembered it well, mostly because his brother's birthday had opened his eyes to the fact that he might not be a teenager forever either.

"It was a new security system and I only spent all afternoon." He paused for a moment, but held his turn. "Its good to keep busy when you are feeling…weird."

Raphael looked at his brother. 'Could this possibly be opening up?' "Yeah, s'pose it is."

There was an awkward pause. Raphael could feel Donatello searching for his words, and was surprised by the one's found. "You know you can ask me anything, Raph. I'm your big brother after all."

Unnerved by the sombre tones of his brother's voice, Raphael searched his brother's face for some sort of clue of its origins. "Yeah, I noticed the extra security cameras." He said, desperately trying to lighten the mood.

Donatello evidently had different ideas. "You know what I mean," he said without hesitation.

Raphael began to realise, Donatello not only knew he was troubled, but he knew what was troubling him. Or at least it felt that way. He was never surprised by the speed at which his brother could figure anything out, including people. Hoping he had not got it wrong, Raphael took in a deep breath…

And plunged. "Do you have any idea…how long…how long we've got, before, you know?"

Donatello's expression did not change. "No, Raph, I don't."

"You know, how long we're going to live." Raphael explained nervously, wondering how he could have misread the situation so badly, however Donatello's next words eased his fears considerably.

"I know what you mean Raph, but I don't know."

"You've thought about it?" Raphael asked, surprised by his own earlier intuition.

"Of course, intelligent life is inevitably aware of its own mortality."

"So you can't tell me."

"All I can tell you is that if I have anything to do with it, at least a few minutes after me."

Raphael looked up at Donny who unerring looked straight ahead. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

Raphael was stunned for a moment by the intensity of dedication his brother had just professed. Of course it was an unspoken agreement that any of his brothers would die to save him, as he would also, but it was not something that was ever discussed. He was beginning to fully understand why. He folded his arms nervously. "We're not going to live to be a hundred, are we?" There was a tone of resignation in Raphael's voice.

"Who knows. All I know is that when we die its probably not going to be of natural causes."

"I hate to think of you thinking like that."

"I hate to think of you thinking that I think like that." Donatello let a small cheeky smile cross his face, but it did not remain long. "You're not morbid if you're aware of your own mortality. Death is a natural part of life. It's just not a part we need to dwell on."

"I know. I just wish I had some idea, you know?"

"Oh, I know. Don't think I haven't been there, but there are no answers to be had, so you might as well enjoy life while you can."

"Now you're starting to sound like the sale priced dribble."

"What?"

"Never mind."

For the first time Donatello turned his head very slightly and raised an eyebrow at Raphael. "You losing it in your old age?"

"Probably. I guess you'll just have to bring me breakfast in bed every morning."

"Don't count on it." They walked silently for another minute before Donatello broke the silence. "So are you gonna be OK?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Good, because I think we've got bigger worries on our hands."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You might want to look into dentures old man."

"The old man thing could get old you know."

"Oh, I know. So was the milk that Leonardo used when trying to bake you a cake."


End file.
